“Generosity”

 John 12:1-8  

Six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, the home of Lazarus, whom Jesus had raised from the dead.  There they gave a dinner for him.  Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those at the table with him.  Mary took a pound of costly perfume made of pure nard, anointed Jesus’ feet, and wiped them with her hair.  The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.  But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (the one who was about to betray him), said, “Why has this perfume not sold for three hundred denarii and the money given to the poor?”  (He said this not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief; he kept the common purse and used to steal what was put into it.)  Jesus said, “Leave her alone.  She bought it so that she might keep it for the day of my burial.  You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have me.”

Today’s story gives us a new and different way to think about money, about our possessions and about ourselves.

            This story about Mary’s generosity reminded me of a person who was very much a part of my life for many years.  She was my first husband’s grandmother.  Even after he and I were divorced, I would spend my day off every other week visiting her in Youngstown and taking her to lunch.  Grandmother grew up in a household in which nobody trusted anyone.  Even after knowing me for over thirty years, it was clear that she would always be suspicious of me and my motives.  She died at age 98 still trusting no one. 

            I suppose she was taught and shown throughout her life that love came at a cost.  She didn’t believe that love could be given freely with no strings attached.

            Now, I’m sure that many of us struggle with this issue to a certain extent—I know that I always feel as though I have to pay folks back for something given or a favor done.  We feel like we always have to keep the scale in balance.  We have trouble accepting favors because we might, then, be indebted to someone.  If we take those favors, then we’re afraid that others might think we’re taking advantage of them.

            But what I saw in Grandmother was beyond that.  She had something judgmental to say about almost everybody, and, as I was assured by him who must not be named, even about me!

            The other thing I noticed about her was that she was SO worried about and fixated on money that it seemed like she could never treat herself to anything nor was she able to give someone a gift with joy.  It never entered her mind that doing that could be pleasurable.  Make no mistake about it, this was really sad….

            She was unable to be generous with herself.  She didn’t have a bunch of money, that was for sure, so we never expected her to spend it other than a toy for each of our kids at Christmas.  But she kept herself so closed up in that survival mode, that she missed the joy of being generous, both with herself and with others.

            It was interesting, toward the end of her life, to listen to that elderly person looking back, reflecting on things, wondering how her life could have been different, how she had spent so many years alone, how her only child, her son, and then, later, her only grandchild, would have no interest in spending time with her. 

When I would take her out for lunch she would order the cheapest thing on the menu.  I would try to model ordering something a bit more pricey, but she was surprised when I would get something like shrimp stir fry.  “Do you really LIKE that?” she would ask.  I would reply, “Oh yeah.”

            “Well, I don’t like it.” She said.  This, then, gave her an opportunity to tell me a story from many years ago that she had never forgotten.  She had been invited to her son’s house shortly after he was married in 1950.  Her daughter-in-law had prepared shrimp cocktail for an appetizer.  Grandmother pushed it away immediately and said she would not eat it.  She wondered after those many, many years if that’s why she was never invited back for a meal.  She revealed that she thought the only reason she had been asked in the first place was so they could show off their china and their fancy silverware!….

            I’ve never forgotten Grandmother Price, especially as her story stands in contrast to the Gospel lesson about Mary’s generosity.  Grandmother’s is a story of puniness and a suspicious spirit.  Mary’s is one of living large, open-heartedly and generously.

            As you already heard, Jesus had been invited to the home of Lazarus and his sisters, Martha and Mary.  A few chapters before this, our Gospel writer reported in great detail how Jesus had raised Lazarus from the dead.  So, now, Jesus is returning to that very house to be with his friends. 

            And so it was that when he arrived, Mary began to anoint Jesus’ feet with some wonderfully fragrant perfume and, then, to wipe them with her hair.  Judas Iscariot criticized Mary for “wasting” such costly perfume when it could be sold and the money given to the poor.  Jesus answered by telling Judas to leave Mary alone.  He said that she had purchased this perfume in order to anoint his body for burial.

            This is a preview of what is to come.  Jesus would be buried, and the women would want to tend to him after his death.  Back it up a few days or weeks and we hear of Mary’s attention to his body on the day of our reading and how it showed her love and his acceptance of it.  In contrast, it’s also a view of Judas’ suspicious nature and his hunger for money and, finally, his betrayal of Jesus which led Jesus to the cross. 

            Now, let me take a little side trip and address those oh-so-very-misused words that end this passage, “You always have the poor with you.”  If you ever hear someone using this text as an excuse for not looking after the needs of poor people, don’t let them get away with it.  That is NOT what’s going on here.  It is merely an aside from Jesus to answer the dishonest and phony frugality of Judas when he scolds Mary for wasting money on the costly perfume.  What Jesus means is this: being generous in lavishing love upon dear ones will NOT deprive those in need.  There is enough love to go around for all people.  This is a good truth to remember these days when our government is robbing the poor and working-class people in order to appear to shrink the federal budget.    It’s wrong, and we will be paying a long time for the chaos and suffering it is causing.

            Mary is the model here of generosity and the picture of someone whose heart is open wide.  She is ministering to Jesus in a beautiful, tender and loving manner without thought for herself.  This is in contrast to Grandmother Price, to those who are running our government, and, also, to so many of us who sit and calculate every move we make—how we spend money, what we do with our possessions, how we give of ourselves to others.

            Mary’s openness and unselfishness is in contrast to the way WE sometimes “do” relationships.  We calculate who did what for whom, when.  We may think, “I called her last, and I’m not calling again until she calls me.”  Or “I did 2 favors to his 1 for me.  No more until we’re even.”  Or “He insulted me, and I’m going to get him back for it when he’s least expecting it.”

            This can be easily translated to a larger setting.  I’ll not give money to that church again until the pastor pays me a visit.  Or those people don’t deserve food stamps.  They have an expensive laptop computer, so, obviously, they don’t need help.  Or, I need every cent I make to pay my own bills and to buy my OWN children what they want.  Forget church, forget charity, forget Salvation Army, forget food pantries, forget social programs.  This at a time when these organizations are going to have to shoulder much of the load of caring for poor children and their families.

            Further, if we don’t give our relationship with God the cream off the top of our time and our best attention, we end up like Judas, being nit-picky and small and foolish and, even, evil.

            God has demonstrated love’s richness and fullness by sending us Jesus who gave himself to his ministry, to serve and to love all people and, then, to the cross.  The generosity of God’s love allows us to be accepted as we are while challenging us to be the people God has dreamed we could be.

            And Mary epitomizes what our love for God and for each other can be like.  Mary personifies the promise of our baptisms, that, as we are in Christ, we can be more like him.

            In this season of Lent, let’s continue in prayer, let’s continue working to be more like the Master every day and in every way, and let’s give ourselves the time and opportunity to experience God’s forgiving love.  So…Mary would advise us to delight our senses, to open our hearts and to be generous with others and with ourselves, just as she was with Jesus.  Amen.